Higher the Climb, the Bigger the Fall

They say the bigger you are the harder you fall. Well every time I succumb to my illness, my road to recovery often leads me to bigger and better things. It seems like every time I’ve come back from being sick, I’ve bettered myself in some area of my life. What scares me is the more I advance in life, the further I will fall when my illness rears its ugly head

Most of the time I keep a positive outlook on life. I don’t tend to worry until there is something to worry about. Sometimes I feel myself slip up and I’m forced to take a step back. I take steps in order to relieve my stress or to clear my head. These events usually go unnoticed by others or are perceived as me having an off day. My main indication of things going south is my wife. As you may know I don’t always trust my own judgment. I’m forced to verify things to make sure I have a clear and logical thought process going on.

I’ve soared higher than I ever have this time around. I’ve gone three years without any trouble and I’ve found myself with a good job. One where my superiors seem to think I will continue to climb the ladder. If I were to lose it all, I would be devastated worse than I have in my whole life. There’s doubt in my mind that I would even recover from it.

Each time I’ve fallen flat on my face. Each time I’ve come back from insanity with purpose, with renewed motivation.

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