Days are different each day. No doubt we’re all faced with something new each day. Sometimes good days turn into great days when something profound happens. It is like the stars align and so many things just fall into place. For me, a good day is when my head is clear. When I am able to wake up and go to work and do the best that I can. There are also other factors, spending time with my wife will also have me in a great mood. Playing with my cats also gives me this great feeling inside. Having a good nights rest is rare but always leaves me in a good place. What makes a great day though. Is it just a well-balanced feeling that you wake up with or is it things around you going right. Happiness starts with yourself. If you wake up pissed off and hating life, chances are you aren’t happy with yourself. Your perception of yourself play a big role in how happy you are, next are what you do day-to-day, then its the people you surround yourself with. I’ve always kept a small circle around me, people who have a positive influence. They’re hard to find and even harder to keep around but they are important to your perception of life, same with the music you listen to. It is rare you find someone who completely uninfluenced by things they hear.
Actions you take day-to-day, things you do day in and day out, have a massive effect on your well-being. I’ve read recently that stress from your job could be a leading cause of heart attacks. Take care in which activities you put yourself through. If you chose to do even one thing a day, that’s just for you and that makes you happy, it could be very beneficial to you. Whether its listening to your favorite song that makes you happy. Or driving by a place that brings you back to a time when you were truly happy. Don’t forget about yourself because once your life is over, that’s it. There is not a rewind button and missed opportunities may never resurface. Don’t worry about what you missed yesterday, you experience life in the here and now. So make the most of it today, now. Things you chose to do today could be the difference in your happiness either now or down the road.
Perception of yourself is key to your happiness. Ever hear that saying “money doesn’t make you happy”? You could be the richest person in the world, have everything go right day in and day out and still be unhappy. Now I am not saying that just because you are rich that you are going to be unhappy but if you’re not happy with yourself then what does moeny matter. Being able to effectively care for other people, starts with caring for yourself. How could you possibly love someone to the fullest extent if you don’t even love yourself. Think of it as setting an example or setting the bar. How much you care for yourself shows how emotionally capable you are at caring for others. When I say Caring for yourself, I don’t mean it in a sense of showering and brushing your teeth. I mean it as emotionally caring for yourself.
So how have I been able to have more great days than good days? I’ve spent a lot of time looking myself in the mirror, going over every detail about me and learning to accept every flaw that I have. Realizing that there aren’t any perfect people in the world so that I stop holding myself to that standard. I’ve spent years trying to learn how to even like myself, how to look past my short comings. I’ll admit that I still have some way to go and I’ll probably be learning this lesson for the rest of my life. To me though, self happiness is the greatest battle and is worth never giving up on. No matter how long it takes or how many set backs there are because the hardest thing in life is not like the person you see in the mirror. If you can’t stare into your own eyes and feel something other than contempt, regret or resentment then something truly needs to change. I am not saying you have to do this on your own. A lot of the time therapy plays a big role in opening up your mind to things you’ve refused to realize about yourself.
Think of it this way, when you don’t like someone or even hate them, do you look at their actions or opinions and think that they are bad or have bad intentions. Are your opinions swayed because of how you feel about them emotionally? If you answered yes then you are being honest because I think we do this even on a subconscious level. Why would it be any different with how we feel about ourselves? If you don’t like things about yourself or even hate yourself, you are entering this downward spiral and you are going to make it hard for yourself to change. Believe me any feelings that you have about others, you can have about yourself.
You have to understand that loving and accepting yourself are your greatest tools in life. Once you learned to accept yourself you’ll find that it becomes easier to rely on yourself. It becomes easier to have confidence. It opens doors that you’ve been to blinded to see by hate. I believe that every single human beings needs to learn this. Needs to understand that when they value themselves, the world will value them more.
It is going to be a long road, and its going to be hard. You may have done things that you thought you could never forgive yourself for but what I am telling you isn’t about forgiving yourself. It’s about accepting that you’ve done wrong and realizing you aren’t perfect.
It starts with taking a hard look at your imperfections, not to be hard on yourself but just to acknowledge that they’re there. The next step is realizing that its okay not to be perfect. Then you will start to understand what accepting yourself feels like.
Once you’ve accepted yourself, you’ve opened up doors to many things. Things like loving yourself. Things like being able to move on. Once you can love yourself you’ll realize that your perception of yourself will improve. You will find the beauty in yourself that you’ve long since forgotten about, or perhaps never even noticed before. Trust me when I say that you have beauty, we all do. We all also have short comings, those are just to be accepted not fixated over.
This may be the most important lesson that everybody needs to learn. I am here learning this with you. So just know that you are not alone. Over 7 billion people on this planet need to learn this. Whether they are happy day-to-day or are in a depression. This is a valuable lesson that no matter what you are going through, it needs to be heard.
Good luck to you all. Remember that we are all in this struggle together. The first step will always be admitting it to yourself.
I first started down this path not to long ago. It all started when I finally admitted that I hated myself. I told my wife, I told my friends, I told my therapist. I just had to keep saying it because every time I did, I felt like it opened my eyes more and more. I realized that my hatred for myself held me back so much. Hatred for myself seeped into every part of my life and it all started with what I thought about myself. I mistreated people because I assumed the worst about them. I assumed the worst in them because I had lost faith in myself, so I couldn’t put faith in anyone else. I didn’t have a problem never talking to people again because I wished I could never see myself again. My level of compassion had ceased to exist. I started searching for things to make me happy and luckily I didn’t go to far down that road because it could have led somewhere awful. I never stopped to think that what I was searching for, wasn’t in the world in front of me but in my own mind. I had put myself into a box, separating myself from everything. So full of anger that it made it impossible to see straight. Trust me when I tell you that, you can live in that you can live in that box for a long time. You wont even realize it either and one day you’ll start searching for all the wrong things to make yourself happy. You may even go as far as getting into drugs and alcohol to fix what going on inside your mind. This will not work. Accepting yourself is the start.
Loving yourself is the only way.