This one is pure blasphemy but it wasn’t like I could control it. This one happened a long time ago, I’m not sure on the timeline but I know I was living with my mother in Maine. I don’t think I was on medication at the time and I’m about fifty percent sure it was the one and only time I came off my meds because I thought I didn’t need them. She had just rented an apartment for us and she left for work one day. I was home alone and my mind was tearing me apart. The day felt like it lasted years and I remember begging for it to end. There wasn’t much furniture in the house and if I remember right I didn’t have a tv. All I had was a radio. I remember the delusion vaguely and out of order.
While laying on the floor my mind wandered with something my mother had said. It was a simple statement, something she’d said many times and I’m sure many people have heard it before, “we’re going to church tomorrow.” Little did she know that this would set of an episode that completely sucked me in and would wander into the darkest parts of my mind. The part of my mind where my depression laid suppressed. This delusion would open the door and tare me apart for reasons unknown.
It started when I looked out of the window at a crowd of people. I couldn’t make out any faces but somehow I became connected with the world through them. They would become my followers. People could then hear my thoughts and I theirs. They began calling me Adam. They were trying to wake me from this reality, from the pain and suffering that I had endured throughout my life. Thus opening the door into my depressive side. They began talking about all the things I went through and how it was for a reason. That, along with Eve, I was put into a dimension created by god. It was created because we ate from the forbidden garden. For thousands of years I would live a life of suffering then die, just to have my memory wiped and a new life of suffering to begin.
Somehow the video game assassins creed got thrown into the mix. There was a group of people working with computers and simulators trying to get me out of that dimension and into reality. They found that by talking to me telepathically it would reach my current Conscious mind.
So apparently we were reaching the end of our punishment and the only thing left to do is for myself “Adam” and Eve to find each other and get married. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and it would be a long time after the episode that I would find someone, years actually. I sat in the apartment, my mind unwilling to leave.
I’ve always had this feeling, a feeling like a warning, that maybe my delusions weren’t true and I shouldn’t act on them. I’ll admit that I didn’t always listen to it. Sometimes they were just too real from me to question them.
I remember the agony of not wanted to leave the apartment, but the drive of the delusion telling me I had to find her. I don’t remember much after that. I might have blacked out. All I know is it was a very intense, time warping experience.