Dealing with problems, Head on

If you had a son or daughter with schizophrenia, how would you handle it? No doubt it would be difficult but it normally would show up until the teenage years. By then you’ve already established your relationship with them, mostly. Would you turn around and give up? No doubt the struggle is real for family members of someone with schizophrenia.

I feel bad sometimes for my mother and father, even though it is not my fault. I did not chose to have this illness. I think I speak for some when I say that there might be some underlying guilt for what they have to handle with me.

My mother, who I believe has something that isn’t being treated properly, could not handle me and my illness. She’s barely been in my life for sometime and for a little while, hasn’t been in my life at all. No doubt that her struggling with what she has going on and then having me was just to much for her. My mother is in denial about her illness, which I believe is the root of all our problems. For someone who once told me I need to accept my illness, she sure will not accept hers. Yes it may be a difficult thing to accept but when you bring a child into this world you need to handle your problems like an adult. There is no room for denial when you have a family.

Then there is my father, who is pretty mentally stable, no illness to speak of. My father try’s to be there for me. I’m sure I’m a difficult thing to handle but he try’s. Though he doesn’t quite know what to do. If you have a child with a mental illness my advice to you is, research as much as you can about it. Learn ways to help and make sure you do not become a trigger for that someone. Being unprepared for a situation can ultimately be bad in any case.

Being unprepared when your child has a mentally illness can cause some serious strain on your relationship. I remember a lot of times I would go to my father with questions or problems or anything to do with my mental illness and he wouldn’t know what to do or say. Not to put down my father but a lot of the time the advice he would give me would be essentially useless. Here’s where doing research would come into play. Obviously no one is perfect but having some information would have been very helpful. Knowing what you’re up against can help in so many ways.

The difficulty with my father not knowing much about my illness definitely put a lot of strain on our relationship. He didn’t know much more than to tell me either go to the hospital or tell your doctor. A big problem was that he thought the medication should be a perfect fix. As we all know there isn’t a medication out there, for anything, that is a perfect fix. Sometimes you just have to deal with the problems and issues. Sometimes you just need to wait them out. I’ve noticed through experiences that waiting it out can be helpful. A lot of minor symptoms will lessen or go away with time. Sometimes you won’t need a medication adjustment, you may just need to talk to your therapist. Having anxiety is stressful and stress is a trigger for a lot of us. Talking to my father was even more stressful because he couldn’t tell the difference between anxiety and schizophrenia. Again this is where knowledge would come in.

The point I’m trying to make is, when you have a problem, you need to deal with it. You can’t deny that there is a problem, life doesn’t work like that. Especially when it’s something as major as a mental illness. Just because it isn’t always visible, doesn’t mean you can sweep it under the rug.

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